pfhhhh...what a hard week or month i can tell is going on now. i supposed to have a moment of joy this month as this month is the month i was born 28 years ago. oh wow, i'm gonna be 28 in 17 days. another big responsibilities including taking care of my love ones whose health are not in good conditions. what makes it hard recently is because i couldn't get the support to be the tough person as usual. my recycle bin of patience is already overused by these 3 persons whom i love so much.
first of all, my luvely daddy as always, whining all the time about his illness which most of them are coming from his mind worrying about his health is not as good as it was when he was younger. whining about the food served in our tables as it's not delicious and make him losing his appetites. the food is ok actually as all the vitamin and elements needed are in the food. my dad just don't like the way it made as my home assistant has limited variousity of recipes to make it more delightful. he prefers to buy food which sometime is not healthy. As he did enjoy his younger, healthy and succesful life back then by eating every kind of food he likes, now he becomes a picky person when it comes to the food he'll eat. not to add his coughs. it hurts when i heard him coughs hardly. it's a results of long term smoking habits. good thing he's already stop smoking. and moreover to add the worst, his liver isn't in good condition as it was. its function has decreased. this one makes him worry more than ever. we're all worry about his liver, but sometimes his whining habits and not trying to take care of his own health makes me mad.
the other whiner is my dear mum. same old and same habits with my dad. whining all the time about her health. i don't feel well here and there if i want to say it short :) the good thing is, she can adjust not to whine when other people are worst than she is. so she can be though when my dad is whining :). i'm glad you can do this mum.
what makes me mad is that i always be their whining recycle bin. first and second time yes i can make it. but when it becomes a never ending habits while they never try to make a change, i can no longer hold it. that's the time when i have this odd look on the face, meaning BeTe, meaning angry, and then shut my mouth up to prevent it from saying dissapointing and harsh but straight to the point words. bitch as it seems but i get to the point which is the true things. but both of them always think they're right in every words they say and every action they take as they're older and have more experience of life than me, meaning stubborn!! we're all stubborn, never hear each other but willing to hear from other people.
what makes me calm down after that is a hug from my love, my soulmate, my bestfriend. my husband to be at the moment as he's the closest person i can get a hug. not to put aside my other soulmates and bestfriends. it just because they phisically couldn't give me a hug as they're phisically not in the same land with me, spreads through the archipelago of Indonesia. a hug from a loved one is definitely a relief in the soul. i don't need his calming words. just a simple hug and little kiss in the cheek will suddenly throw away all the burden from my shoulders, from my brain, and my tiny cells of blood. pushing the blood flow back to normal which will lead to a sense of relaxation.
but now, my soulmate is ill as well. who can i turn my back on to get a hug.............
wish you all three get well soon....luv u folks!