To Good To Be True: A Story of a Secret Admirer.

To good to be true is commonly used to describe something we want or desire but impossible to attain. In this case it’s about men who were previously came in to my life, filing in the days with experience how to fall in love to someone. No matter what the reason why you’re fall in love with these guys. In short, i want to talk about men who i fell in love with but it’s impossibe for me to become their loved one. Basically, it's only a story on how i became a secret admirer.

The first guy i’ve ever fell in love with was my senior at junior high school. His name is PIN. I’m his junior at class IE and he’s my senior at class IIIE. I begun to become his secret admirer when i realized his face is look a like the teenager actor, who played a role as the jockey of a horse in a TV series called The Black Stallion. I really like the show and that’s why i kinda like finding the actor in the reality life. Although it’s also in unreal situation as i only just a secret admirer, who barely talked to him. Hahahaha...what a stupid young teenagers can be. I always came early when my class started at 1.00pm to wait for him accrossed in front of me on his way home, as he’s got the morning class and i’ve got afternoon class. I stopped became his secret admirer once his little brother, who also my senior, knew that i was admiring his brother. He also found out that i was the one who sent anynomous card to his brother on Valentine’s Day. I was so embarassed at that time, even though it already passed 1 year after the Valentine’s Day. Moreover, he likes to tease me if there’s anything new related to his brother. The last time he was teasing me is when PIN got married. I’m so happy to hear the news, but why bother teasing me as i already lost my feeling to PIN anyway. Hahahaha....

The second guy that i fell in love was my senior when i was conducting my undergraduate. His name is RDP. I don’t really remember when i met him for the first time. But since that time i was involved in such an uncommon relationship with a friend, i tend to have a particular description on what is the kind of man i would pay attention to. My ideal description of a man at that time: He should be tall, white, and wearing glasses. All the description match with the “friend” except RDP are more though phisically. Then again, i became a secret admirer. But i didn’t feel the same way as when i was became a secret admirer of PIN. Back then it felt like i was more mature in the feeling. It wasn’t just give the happy feeling, but also the calm. Felt it like something heavy on my heart everytime i saw him. Unfortunately, he already got a girlfriend at that time, which is the one he married till now. Huhuhuhuhu...i’m happy to know that he got the love of his life, but also sad on the other side. The bravest thing i’ve ever done was only text him one night pretending that i sent the wrong message. I called him Hunchback of Notredame and i called my self Pocahontas. Hahahahaha. The last contact i’ve ever made to him was just a text to congratz him on the day he graduated. Now i can still look at his friendster if i got curious about him, but still have no gut to add him as his friend. Yea rite, as he would want to add me as we don’t know each other.

The third guy is my own lecturer at GSB. For the sake of my academic performance i tend not to tell his name. I finally found what is the most type of man i would adore. The smart and cool type. No need to be handsome, but once i found out that he’s clean, intellectual, tidy and really smart, i instantly would pay attention to him. The way he talks and lecture us just made me melted even more. My heart is pounding everytime we met. And the worst part is, we’re going to meet at least once a week this semester. On one side, it means i don’t have to be wandering all the time when i can meet him just like i did with RDP. But at the other side, sometime i was just too amazed by him. The way he talks, the way he dresses, the way he act, no need to ask for his education laa, made me lost sometime in the class. Hahahahaha. I’m not sure if this is just my another phase of becoming a secret admirer. But there’s one thing i can be sure of, he reminds me of my boyfriend in a way. Phew...it’s going to be a though semester.

There are also another men who got involved in my luv life. But, it’s going to be another story to tell. Sometime......


Specially dedicated to Black Stallion, Huncback of Notredame, and Dr.Smart.
Thank you for the life experience and the chance to share it with me.